One of my favorite bloggers once wrote that “Life is a picture, but you live in a pixel.”

That is, life isn’t experienced in decades and lifetimes, but instead in days and perhaps weeks at a time. Eventually, enough of these micro-level bits and pieces of time accumulate enough for u to have enough low-resolution, zoomed-in pixels where if we squint closely enough, we might be able to glimpse a fuzzy part of the picture. And if we’re lucky, the photo will be a 1080p shot of a magnificent sunset, and not a c. 2005 flip-phone accidental selfie (unless you’re artsy and into that sort of thing).

I suspect this is the crucial reason why we all tend to hesitate whenever asked how we’re doing, or for Fulbrighters, how our grant year is going so far. We’re so busy living in the 1px by 1px square that this 100px by 100px question of “How are you doing?” catches us off guard; we give a 1px by 1px answer that doesn’t accurately answer the intended broadness of the answer, but instead give it to satisfy the formality that the question has become.

And so “I’m fine, and you?” becomes one of one acceptable responses, to the point where every.single.student.in.this.Korean.nation knows to answer in this exact way in English without realizing that it’s part slang, part idiom, and part fake sincerety.

I guess being fluent in English also means knowing how to end a conversation quickly too.

On the flip side, even when we do have the chance to consider the larger picture and discuss it with closer friends, we sum up the pixels too quickly. A confusing picture often arises, one overly dominated by a few small days or by overemphasis on particular moods. What is this burnt umber square doing next to this baby blue pixel, and next to this blood red one? Was I mellow then happy then angry in a span of 3 days?

What is the true picture?

With more patience, maturity, and constant reflection, however, individual pixels start to fit better with the ones around them, and the image begins to become clearer and more nuanced. “I was angry in this way for that reason, and eased the conflict by doing this.”  The longer blockchain unlocks deeper insights that ignite personal growth and a greater mind-body connection.

Beyond morning meditation, which preemptively puts guardrails on the day’s path as a fail-safe switch for overly exaggerated emotion at either pole, recognizing life’s little joys around in the surroundings helps with gratitude at this pixel level. This in turn assists in constructing a clearer macro image.

Here’s a few of the little things from this week:

  1. Mistaking a large winter jacket splayed across an empty desk for a sleeping student and empathetically patting it on the “shoulder.”
  2. Having 15 students grab at my abdomen simultaneously while yelling, “TEACHER, CHOCOLATE!” (meaning, abs look like an unbroken Hershey’s bar)
  3. Arm wrestling a class’ champion and losing
  4. Overhearing a teacher’s office conversation and realizing, “Wait…I understood 90% of that!”
  5. Blushing when a student says “Wow teacher! Style is good!” or “Teacher I love you!” Gotta love the shameless grade grubbers :,)
  6. Trying a McDonald’s Shanghai Burger for the first time.
  7. Being thankful for working 8:30-5, not 8-10.
  8. Unexpectedly finding a functional whiteboard marker.
  9.  The weekly self-reflection: “Was I this crazy/dumb/smart/awkward in high school too?” Yes, yes you were.
  10. Springing a full Korean sentence on an unsuspecting student during their 1-on-1 speaking exam with me.
  11. Trying not to die of laughter while proctoring the mock Korean SAT (수능) during the English listening section because the male English voice sounds like Jerry from Rick and Morty.
  12. And eating Turkey on Thanksgiving for the first time in years, at the US Army base in Seoul, no less.