– “Korean Says Language Chief Barrier in Adapting.” The Kansas State Collegian. April 7, 1967.

Legacy

잘지내라.

Live well.

Bitterness, frustration, and anger were conflicting neighbors with gratitude as I rode the cab to the airport through the backstreets of suburban Toronto, tears streaming freely.

The doctors had said my grandfather had a week to a month to live, so junior year of college was on hold, and I crossed the border on short notice.

In hindsight, it’s a miracle I was able to leave school behind to spend those paramount days that you would trade for years in a heartbeat. And so I slept on a hospital cot bed for the weekend, assisting however I could.

We talked throughout the weekend with my grandmother there as well, but alone together on the last night before I left. There were the memories I knew he still had, and I asked: golfing at Rolling Hills Golf Club – the shorter 18-hole course to make it easier on his hips and my pride, chipping golf balls back and forth across the backyard lawn of the Richmond Hills house as he worked in the vegetable garden or sat under the grape vines, going to Pickle Barrel where dad had his first job long ago and almost was fired at for eating what he thought was free bread for employees.

He would focus his energy listening and responded, especially when I tried in Korean. This is after I had quit Korean at age 11, citing the fact that “I will never use this language in my life,” realizing my mistake and laboring through a few semesters of the language, and spending two summers in Seoul.

I regret not being earlier, but it wasn’t too late. For that, I was thankful. There were so many things to ask, but too few words I knew and too little time.

성공 비결 뭐엇습니까?

What is the secret to success?

This was the chapter 1 topic of my Intermediate Korean textbook I brought with me, so I did my best to ask.

From his hoarse Korean, I gathered that the secret for him was making the closest of friends. Why? Friends will stick with you to the end and bring you joy in life, he said.

The next day, he was gone.

—

Life has a way of coming full circle; sometimes slowly, other times with a much quicker pace. By senior year, fellowships had always been on my mind – a gap year I never took – and Fulbright was automatically on the list.

What I hadn’t know was that my existence in America was because of Fulbright, the result of my grandfather picking up his wife and sons in 1964 and coming to the U.S. on a Fulbright Scholarship to study statistics and receive his doctorate. He wanted to return to Korea after completing his studies to teach and do research, or so he told the Kansas State Collegian newspaper in 1967. But he would never return to Korea to teach or work again.

Yet somehow, 50 years later, we find ourselves here, on another Fulbright fellowship, preparing to teach Korean high school students in four days.

When I was a high schooler, taking creative writing instead of AP chem, I penned a piece entitled Whitewashed. It was about wanting nothing to to with my grandfather – his cultural backwards-ness, his strict discipline and stubbornness, and his brooding, judging eyes. He represented everything I wasn’t then. Yet he drives who I am now, even now that he is gone. In a way, I will be seeing my new Korean students through his eyes, fulfilling a hope that he never completed.

A distant aunt who lives in Seoul put it best in a text message on Kakao:

하늘나라에서 할아버지가보고 계시겠다 흐뭇하게 용환이 지켜주실꺼야

From up above, grandfather must be watching. He will happily protect you.

Statue of King Sejong (세종대왕 동상), Gwanghwamun Square (광화문광장), Seoul

News

Re: being in Korea during brewing tensions and why I’m not as concerned as friends back home are. TL:DR – North Korea wants the status quo, not to bomb everything like the media is reporting. Link

Re: An Asian-American Fraternity death leads to questions about what it means to be Asian-American. Also a great journalistic history, but more importantly demonstrates that the way in which we develop our identity can mean just as much as what the identity becomes. Link

A shift in dynamics: Disney is an “iconic” brand, but there’s a clear pivot when the NYT and WSJ describe their Netflix-spurning streaming plans as a “risk” and a “bet.” Since when has Disney made bets? Even when it acquired Pixar or ESPN, it was an “investment” or a “value-add.” Link

Tesla Model 3 (~%35k) shipped out last week. Just a steering wheel and one(!) touchscreen needed in the front seat. Link

A Russian poet who wrote with burnt matchsticks on soap bars. Link

Quoted

“As long as our definition of we gets a little bit bigger every day, and our definition of them gets a little bit smaller every day — we have a chance.” Link

For Fun

Rain delays make the best halftime shows. Link

Professional cuddling on the rise, for $80/hr. Link

When your catch, catches what you were trying to catch, while being caught. Link